Thursday, January 12, 2012

Porn Stars

If this cycle mirrors the last, and in many ways it does, next week what’s left of my hair will fall out and I can’t wait! I am so in need of a buzz, but Jonah will not relent. Love is blind, and he says I hardly look any different because some hair remains. Let me tell you... I look different, but that’s o.k., I’ve made peace with that. I’ve not made peace with my head looking like a baby bird’s butt -- all tufty little clumps of feathers... it’s quite the comb-over I’ve got going on, I’d much rather be bald. Bald has become appealing.

But little boy is insistant and since he can conrol so little, I can’t bear to take his control of my scalp away. I’ve learned a lot about hair these past few weeks. Head hair really does keep you warm and pubic hair has a function... especially the way down there hair. They’re like little gliders that keep the toilet paper moving. No hair, no glide, it just sticks there and you have to peel it off. People do this on purpose? Touch up the bikini line if you have to, but I recommend leaving the rest in tact. Another reason to think twice before becoming a porn star.

I tried to link yesterday’s post to facebook, but they responded, “Sorry, this post contains a blocked URL. The content you're trying to share includes a link that's been blocked for being spammy or unsafe.” Spammy? now I’m spammy and unsafe? Geez, kick a girl while she's down facebook.

And by the way, It’s 9:12 a.m. please be impressed. I’m up, I’m dressed and I’m not missing acupuncture again!

2 comments:

  1. I'm going to post this as my comment, just so you can have the fun of reading it: Head hair really does keep you warm and pubic hair has a function... especially the way down there hair. They’re like little gliders that keep the toilet paper moving. No hair, no glide, it just sticks there and you have to peel it off. People do this on purpose? Touch up the bikini line if you have to, but I recommend leaving the rest in tact. Another reason to think twice before becoming a porn star.

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  2. ohhhhhh, and i was SO unsure about posting that one. now glad i did.

    ReplyDelete