Saturday, January 28, 2012

Cry Wolf

I finally got scared today and went to the ER because my chest felt so tight and breathing seemed so laborious felt just utterly not working properly. Spent a few hours there and everything is fine. We'll as fine as you can be with cancer and chemo both trying to kill you at the same time. When I look at my early blog posts, I don't recognize myself from only a few months ago. Currently, I'm feeling very UN. Un-brave, un-feisty, un-tenacious, un-positive, unsure. I started out envisioning myself as Xena Princess Warrior and now I feel like Xena's agoraphobic sibling who hides out {whimpering} in the family cave.

After my next chemo cycle, I will have used up half of my lifetime allotment of Adriamycin. Cause you take too much of that stuff and it just plain kills you and that's what it feels like. See, un-stoic, un-heroic, un-suffering in silence.

I'm a soggy, bloggy tired thing that had to shuttle her boys off to their dads for the night, hoping a good nights sleep will help.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you went in, the anxiety of worrying would have just made it worse. Hope today's better.