Friday, January 20, 2012

Cold Dark Corner

I am learning so many new random factoids, such as when your white blood cell counts are dangerously low, you shouldn’t eat pepper. I wasn’t planning on eating any pepper, so I’m fine with that... the no hugging and wash your clemintines and then wash your hands before peeling and then wash your hands again is a bit cumbersome and I confess, I’m not doing it. While I’m not hugging randomly, I’m still cozying up to a sniffly boy, one in particular. Luckily, I’m too tired to be out and about in public too much and now that it's snowing, forgetting, I'm boycotting outside.

I’ve learned that disolvable stitches don’t necessarily dissolve, I’ll spare you the details because I am a kind and benevolent soul.

Someone gave me a winter bulb for xmas, I can’t remember the name, Paperwhites perhaps? After I planted it, I remembered I had the most spectacular Amaryllis last year which I stashed in a basement closet because the directions said they would winter over in a cool dark spot. I found it {amazingly} and it looked deader than dead, all dry and crispy and pitiful, it practically fell right out of the dirt, showing it’s ratty little spent roots. But only 24 hours after watering it thoroughly, and having a little chat with it, and it’s sprouted a vibrant green stem and now only 2 days on and it’s an inch of sweet health and happiness. It’s amazing how fast things grow, but now I see a double-edged sword. Instead of just beauty, awe is joined by fear. Plants grow and so do maniacal human cells. I suppose if I were a scientist in a lab watching cancer cells in a petri dish divide with the rapidity they do, turning all gnarly and warped, I’d find that fascinating, as I do my Amaryllis. Seeing how fast that Amaryllis can grow makes me happy, watching sprouts emerge in spring is my very favorite thing, I get thrilled and amazed by each and every one. But now there’s this new meaning this new perspective and it scares me how fast things can grow given the right environment. Chemo next Tuesday, keep working on becoming a hostile environment, I guess that’s really all I can do, find some dark, cold corner in myself where those cells can go dormant, or hopefully, just go away.

1 comment:

  1. I vote for the "just go away"!!! (and, by the way, you ARE doing IT well! xo <3