Friday, December 9, 2011

Fail or as Jonah would say, Epic Fail

Sorry to report that the press and cling saran wrap experiment was a bust, it did the exact opposite of what I’d planned. It allowed little drops of water to seep in, and then pool over the bandages that were meant to stay dry. oh well, I tried, it was a good faith effort. I took everything off, let the mess air dry and put on the new bandages the purple nurse slipped to me under the table because I’m not supposed to change the bandages myself, I’m supposed to not shower and leave them be for a week, or until I go in for chemo on Tuesday when the professionals can remove them. Too bad, I’m a band-aid renegade. As for the press and cling saran wrap, I’m not sure what the point of it is at all, another ill-conceived consumer product to make the market shelves more confusing. There’s a picture on the box of some elaborately wrapped hamburgers, but I’m not sure why anyone would go through so much trouble to wrap their burgers... why they would “press and cling” instead of just wrapping. But my favorite products are routinely discontinued to make room for nonsense like this, so I’m not the most qualified market research commentator.

Perfect moment of the week {brought to me by the kindest, sneakiest folks ever} was Wednesday evening, in the studio, playing 2-person Fruit Ninja with Jonah on the iPad. Oh giver’s of iPad, there is a special place in our hearts for you for ever and ever! It really is true, everyone should get a goody bag with an iPad with their cancer diagnosis, I'm even more convinced of this now. I couldn’t figure out how to turn the volume down and the techie little 10-year old says “I think there’s a little switch on the side.” How does he know that? He hadn’t even used it yet.

Three days until chemo. Three days until I start zapping those errant little motherfuckers. Game on cancer cells, you’ve got to go, I don't like this waiting game... I have much, much more fruit ninja to play. Seriously, I can’t wait to start chemo. No fear, ready to kick cancer’s ass, I’m pissed, I’m disrupted, I’m annoyed and I’m stubborn, I will not accept anything less than total permanent eradication of the univited visitor.

6 comments:

  1. I can drop something by your house tomorrow that should take care of your showering problem...will put it in your mailbox (or mail slot - can't remember which you have!)

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  2. forgive me, i don't know who this is...

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  3. Just envision those cancer cells being sliced in two by an expert fruit ninja. Maybe you'll even get the pomegranate!

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  4. nope, not slicing... total nuclear evisceration. turned to dust. gone.

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  5. Neutron bomb a go go, vaporize those bad cells, leave Kim standing.

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  6. Good luck tomorrow! I like Press and Cling. I can't make the other kind of wrapper work.

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