Even I am sick to death of hearing myself whine and complain, and trust me, if I'm not complaining out loud, I'm doing it in my head. I went into this thinking I'd have some grace and class, some measure of grit... not so much it seems.
I should have kept better track of the details of the chemo cycle. How many days I felt super lousy, how many lousy, how many meh... then I could look back and realize it was a repetitive trajectory, and I'd know when I'd be feeling better instead of thinking every really bad day would last forever. I've let the bad days whisk me into doomville to easily. Should have relied more on empirical data to keep a little saner.
I'm off to take a shower where there's not nearly enough to do anymore. No shampoo, rinse, condition, no leg shaving, getting in there is anticlimactic. Sometimes I just stand there wondering what I'm doing in there, but I never really wake up without a shower, so there I am. I bet my water bill will go down, there's a cancer upside.