I wish I was a runner, a marathon runner. Someone who knows how to separate body and mind, to keep running through pain. One of those runners who still goes out for their morning jog when they have a bad cold or their period or just don't feel like it, who doesn't obsess over ever little twinge, every racing heart.
I feel like an epic cave-in. Three short months from invincible, how-bad-can-it-be, warrior goddess to twitchy pile of soggy socks. I'm shocked and appalled by how fast I lost my resolve, my fight, my audacity.
I wish I was a runner and knew how to run through this. I wish I could go to the audacity store and buy some more, Audacious 'R' Us. I wish I could go to rehab and purge every last chemical, get fit, eat green and go to yoga every morning and get my strength back. And this should be somewhere warm, very warm, with a pool and shady trees.