Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Skullacious

Now that I'm stark-raving bald, and pretty used to it in private, I'm not sure how to deal with it in public. I've been wearing hats while out and about {which isn't all that often}, and a hoody pulled over the hat. When it gets warm, I slip off the hat and I have a nice loose hoody, so generally look more like a surely teenager than a cancer patient.

These few warm days have given me a glimpse of spring and standing in line at the bakery today {where I got tea, but forgot to buy bread which is why I went}, I got really hot suddenly, so I took off my hood. And then I saw myself in the mirror and put my hood back on.

I don't want to shock people, I don't want to make them uncomfortable, I don't want sympathy, and I don't want to be an exhibitionist {just for the sake of}, but I do want to be comfortable. Fact is, I'm bald... so is it o.k. to just be bald? Bald men don't cover up, but bald woman, does kind of obviously mean you have cancer or something else undesirable {but luckily not contagious}.

As I'll be this way for a while, do I just make peace with people staring at me and/or being uncomfortable, or do I have to have something on my head. They should train cats for cancer patients, I wouldn't mind having a cat wrapped around my head, but hats, scarves, it's so high maintenance. I thought a simple bandana would be good, but they slip right off and reaching for a hairpin doesn't help. And a full on headscarf is a dead giveaway for cancer anyway, so my question is... is that subterfuge necessary?
Posted by at

10 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 7, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    maybe write "cancer, don't mention it" or "you don't need to say a word" in eyeliner on the back of your head? or forehead? or both? people are going to look no matter what, and a lot of the well meaning ones might even try to tell you how much they admire you or about their own cancer or...

    ReplyDelete
  2. K T CFebruary 7, 2012 at 4:05 PM

    but is it ok, do you think to just go out sans scarf or hat? or is it unfair to make folks uncomfortable?

    ReplyDelete
  3. grace nFebruary 7, 2012 at 4:11 PM

    you need to do what works for you. think about your pink or purple hair...i'm sure that made some people uncomfortable...did that make you want to change to brunette?
    if you do want to go with some sort of headgear my friend from bklyn flea sells these fab headscarves... http://www.etsy.com/shop/Mercato?ref=pr_shop_more some actually have elastic so no tying or fussing required.
    love you.
    g

    ReplyDelete
  4. K T CFebruary 7, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    it's funny... you'd think because of the pink hair that i'm an exhibitionist, but couldn't be further from the truth... the pink hair felt really normal to me and just plain made me happy. i'd look in the mirror and it would make me happy. maybe i just have to go out bald a few times and get used to it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ChristopherFebruary 8, 2012 at 6:10 AM

    I'm guessing since you didn't mention wigs as an option that you have already decided that wigs are not an option.

    ReplyDelete
  6. K T CFebruary 8, 2012 at 7:29 AM

    i just couldn't wear a wig with a straight face, don't know why. and they ain't cheap!

    ReplyDelete
  7. vozFebruary 9, 2012 at 5:08 AM

    If people get uncomfortable, it's not *you* doing it to them, it's them reacting and that's their part of the experience. The truth is, it is uncomfortable sometimes (and I'm sure it's uncomfortable sometimes for you), but that's not necessarily a bad thing, is it? I mean, it's just reality. People get cancer and people lose their hair. And it sucks and it makes people react in all kinds of ways, but it's not something you're doing to them.

    If you had lost all your hair except for a particular pattern that spells out F-U-C-K or looked like a big ol' erection, then I'd tell you to cover your head, but it's just your bald head. I've seen your head; it's not offensive. If people can't deal with it, that's honestly not your problem, it's theirs.

    Alternately, you could just glue some rhinestones on there and people will just think "wacko!" instead of "cancer" when they see you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. K T CFebruary 9, 2012 at 5:36 AM

    i have to admit... rhinestones had crossed my mind.

    ReplyDelete
  9. allthewayfullFebruary 13, 2012 at 10:58 AM

    I like bald. Other people will just have to deal. It's your head, not theirs.

    ReplyDelete
  10. K T CFebruary 13, 2012 at 11:02 AM

    thanks bekah. i debuted my bad, bald self at the farmer's market on saturday. i walked the length of the hallway twice gaining courage and i was appreciative of how friendly the vendors were.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)