Friday, March 9, 2012


I saw my surgeon today and she also agreed that a bilateral mastectomy {which is what they call a double mastectomy} was the best course of action at this point. My surgery date is March 29, one day after J turns 11. Between now and then I have endless doctors appointments. Pre-admission testing at the hospital, plastic surgeon consult even though I may choose not to reconstruct, and that can't be done until after radiation anyway, pre-surgical physical, mammogram {last ever}, surgeon {again}.

It will be really good to just get this over with, I'll admit to being nervous, I don't like big ordeals and this counts as an ordeal, I believe. You only get one night in the hospital and then they send you home with narcotics and drains {yuck}, and lots of stitches of course. Then I only get four weeks off until chemo starts up again.

In case you're wondering, because a bunch of folks have mentioned it... while I was hoping for a lumpectomy, that's not why I did chemo. Chemo was the required treatment both before and after surgery, regardless. You probably know someone who had breast cancer, a mastectomy and then was done, or maybe did radiation. There are many different kinds of breast cancer and because of my particularly aggressive type and it's advanced size, it was chemo no matter what. If I'd had a choice, I would have had a mastectomy right off in a heartbeat, but that was never an option.

I talked to the boys about the surgery last night and when later, we were watching a cartoon, J's choice, so that means a bizarre cartoon. One of the grotesque characters was male, but fat, so had boobs {or so it appeared}, and I joked "that guys got bigger boobs than I'm going to have". I thought it was a good way for them to understand, boobies going bye-bye, but they both got so mad at me.

G barked "was that really necessary, I mean really mom, seriously?" "what? I'm just joking", "well that's not funny and it really isn't necessary, can you please stop!" and little dude chimes in "yeah mom, that's not funny." "I'm just trying to use a little humor to diffuse a difficult situation." "Well DON'T".

I was really surprised by their reaction but I guess I'll be more tasteful in the future. Poor guys have a lot to process.

1 comment:

  1. I think boys associate breasts with women and women with breasts, even though none like think about their own mother's specific ones. I'm sure you presented this in the least scary/most upbeat way possible, but being "OK" on any level about not having breasts must be really confusing for them!