I had a really nice weekend, I forced myself to get out and about, as enough is enough with this shut-in thing. I went to G's football game on Friday night and while he played well, they got creamed by a team in a lower division, which makes me nervous for the rest of the season with even bigger, stronger, faster opponents. There were a couple of late hits on him and they made me furious, I wanted to go out on the field and scream at people, kick them in the leg. It is horrible, watching your baby get knocked down, knocked down on purpose, oh, why not tennis? When he got home, his arms were all scraped up and raw and bloody, ewwww.
On Sat., J had a friend over to help him make a movie he's been planning for weeks -- for some reason, he got it in his head to make a silent movie, "old fashioned looking". They did a great job, I have to say, I love the part where his friend is tied up on the ground as if on a train track and there's a close up of the train coming and then a wide shot that shows the tiny little Brio train approaching http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txEk3f6FHww . Tighter editing would be nice, but I keep it zipped, he's so proud of his movies, as it should be! We stayed up way too late as usual, J editing and G and I watching some of the convention speeches.
Today, J and I and friends went down to the Mystic Aquarium, it was really fun, but exhausting. I wore sneakers for the first time, it's been flip flops for my beleaguered feet all summer. The sneakers made me more aware of how numb my feet are and I'm finding that when it's dark, I have little balance, I look drunk. By the end of the day, I was just plain in pain, I don't know what kind of shoes to get for winter. I fall off my dansko's, I think I need to be really close to the ground. It was so nice to finally go on an adventure with J who kept holding my hands and raving on and on about how much he loves sea creatures and at one point he was so happy, he had to give each of us a hug. And yeah, then we all got the speech again about how hugs are healthy for you... endorphins, you know?
Tomorrow is my first radiation, yet another odyssey begins. Five days a week for 7 weeks, oh boy, can't wait. What's really abnormal is how normal it seems, I'm really not sure what I'll do when I'm finally out of treatment, it will feel as strange as getting diagnosed in the first place which really seems like years and years ago, as opposed to the 10 months it's been. It's hard to imagine my former life and kind of wish I'd realized how simple it really was.