Spider

My whole week is generally consumed with making lists of all the things I need to get done over the weekend, the things I’m going to stop putting off. Residents of the list weigh heavily on me and then come saturday, my mind’s tabula rasa and I can’t think of what I needed to do which is why the list gets longer every week. I write lists, of course, but then I loose them, they go to the place where sock mates go. I bought a refrigerator applique that one can make lists on with dry erase markers, which was working great until my marker dried out and I keep forgetting to buy a new one despite how many times I’ve been to Staples, I’m sure it’s on one of my lists.

This morning I couldn’t get up. Little boy spent an hour intermittently trying to rouse me, but I felt drugged, I could barely open my eyes. Finally at 9:30 his father came to pick him up, it’s his weekend. This is why I wish his weekends started on Friday night because then I could’ve spent an hour sleeping instead of an hour wracked with guilt trying to get up. And if his weekends started on Friday night, they’d end on Sunday evening instead of Monday morning and the tall one would be home to drag out the heavy trash cans for pick up. It would be a small and quite logical shift, but I can’t seem to facilitate it happening, I am a poor negotiator. I have this irrational notion that when you have cancer, you shouldn’t have to drag heavy trash cans around. I think Susan G. Koman should spend less time worrying about pink ribbons and more time worrying about my trash cans. And I should spend more time eating healthy and making green smoothies because with the return of my appetite, I’ve been slacking.

After breakfast I did the dishes clad in rubber gloves as always and I felt a sharp stab in my pinky. I pulled off the gloves and an ugly black spider slid right out and down the drain after apparently biting me. There aren’t poisonous spiders in Rhode Island, are there?

My precious free day and I don’t think I’m off to a good start. My kids have monday and Tuesday off, I got out my calendar and counted... they don’t have a full week of school until week #8, how insane is that? How do people with full time job’s manage? I guess they build an infrastructure that can handle it, babysitter's on call... I am lacking an infrastructure.