Oh Ewe

I never thought I’d be excited about the Pope or following what the Pope is up to. Or that my kids and I would be chanting at the TV “pope, pope, pope” but you’ve got to love this pope. Well, we do anyway. I wonder though, how the heck he slipped under the radar, because this guy can’t be what the hierrarchy had in mind. He’s a clever pope, a stealthy pope, and I’m so glad he played his cards right and got Pope-ified. Radical pope, kind and genuine pope, I worry about his open air pope-mobile, I worry someone will shoot the pope. Pope ain’t no dope, or Pope is dope, depending on how you say it. obviously, pope is the word of the day since I started my day by seeing him and O on the front page of HuffPo, which I suppose makes it HuffPope until a new lead story comes along.

I’m not sure what I really think of myself, because on the one hand, I’m afraid of dating because I can’t imagine anyone would like me, or accept all my scars, both literal and figurative, but then when I send an email to someone on OKcupid and they don’t respond I think “dude, who do you think you are? you’ll never find anyone better than me, I'm awesome.” Insecure or arrogant, don’t know, or as they’d say on a dating site “you tell me.”

Several men have clicked “like” on my profile and yes, of course I feel 13-years-old talking about this, but when I click “like” back there is no response. I had a brief back and forth with someone and they admitted that they never contact anyone first, they wait for them. That’s kind of passive, or arrogant, or something. We emailed back and forth and I found myself decreasingly interested. His responses were not well written, maybe he was writing on a phone, not a keyboard, so I’ll give him that. But they didn’t reflect the “happy” person he described and I noticed that while he was (sort of) answering my questions, sort of responding to my repartee, he didn’t ask about me, or my thoughts and so one of us has quietly let the ball drop and roll away, I’m not even sure which. I'm hoping he doesn't email again, and suspect he won't.

Surprisingly, I’ve found several profiles that I find compelling and attractive, at least interesting and I’ve sent, short, charming emails. I think they'ew charming, “you tell me”. Well, I guess they have told me because I’ve not gotten a single response. I’ve been short and sweet, but always referenced something in their profile that I also liked or agreed with, usually something obscure as that’s what draws me in and nothing. So if on-line “dating” isn’t depressing enough, how about on-line dating where no one responds to a single thoughtful email? Nor a single legit inquiry or contact, my parade of Christian, right-wingers continues. In my last email I told the recipient that I’d really appreciate them responding, if only to tell me that they’re not interested, being new to this, I’d like to learn how to refine my approach. Nothing.

Equally amusing and depressing it remains, one guys screen nane is HelloGorgeousEwe. Does he realize he’s addressing goats or the inhabitants of southeast Ghana and southern Togo?

Then there are the bare chest shots. I think if you want to post your bare chest you have to have other pictures as well, it can’t be the one and only shot. The creepiest, absolute creepiest is having a 23 year-old “like” my picture. My reaction of absolute Ewwwwww (not Ewe), made me realize I’m not cut out to be a cougar and I don’t, absolutely don’t understand the Mrs. Robinson type. Just Eww. I love 23-year olds, I want to bake them cookies and hear about how school or their first job is going and not a single thing more.

From Denver: My name is Mr.xxx xxxxx, Sometimes i wonder what was in God's mind, to have created some people so special but i have come to realize that such people were actually created to change the lives of many..The basic realities of life does not solely depends on how often one smiles... I must confess that your profile struck me. i would love to know you, and better still, get acquainted.

From KewlMichael, a professed $250,000-$500,000 earner in NY: Wow you look very radiant like the morning sky,i really appreciate God for a wonderful creature like you.you are like a gift from God , seeing you has really made me to forget to ask how u are doing. Well let me not be carried away by your beauty, I must tell you the truth you are among the wonders of God's creature will be very glad if i can get to know you more better.Meeting with you will be my first joy, please it will gladden my heart by giving me a response. please do include your email address when reply so we could start by chatting...You are beautiful, Cheers up till i hear from you

Then there’s HotJoeyLove and NeedingADarling, this could drive a girl to drink, join the foreign service or just maybe, accept and embrace life as is. I tried the drinking part last night, it was pretty fun, we'll see which way things go.