I’m getting constant mail from colleges on Griffin’s behalf. Email, snail mail and it’s been unrelenting for months. So many colleges, I just don’t know how people chose. Well, I kind of do, because it’s all I talk to folks about, but it’s pretty overwhelming... so, so, so many colleges. The mystery of course, is which one has a lot of endowment money they want to give away to pay themselves with.
I picked that H.S. Junior up early today because he’d finished his last mid-term and there’s nothing to do for the rest of the day. He really studied the past two weeks so I took him to lunch and he picked Chili’s. I wasn’t that hungry and there’s nothing remotely small or light on the menu, so I ordered a bowl of chili. I thought, it’s named Chili’s, they must have halfway decent chili. Wrong. I’ve brushed my teeth, chewed gum and I can still taste it, but I think that might be more from the trauma of how awful it was. I’ve been drinking water all day, but it’s no match for how much sodium must have been in that small bowl. Chili’s chili is like lukewarm ketchup with spices and faux beef that is actually god only knows what. I took a bite of my lunchmate’s $12.00 chicken tenders and I don’t think they were real chicken either. I think it was reconstituted, shaped, chicken product. Eww. But the company was lovely and I got to be a hero for picking him up early. I had work to do, but that can wait, my priorities have changed. But sorry, no more Chili’s for us.
"money they want to give away to pay themselves with" <---ha ha ha!
ReplyDeleteAND: sounds like he should go to Brown!
actually, he's looking for the anti-brown... he loves structure and boundaries... and to be a little further from home. he needs a small liberal arts college where everyone hangs out at the student union and goes to the sports events together because they have a campus culture... know what i mean, like college camp. there's a few in maine... bowdoin, colby and eh, i always forget the 3rd, bates?... they're out there, just have to start making coherent lists and watching college videos.
ReplyDeleteof course i had to go listen to Sleepwalk With Me, because (1) i love This American Life and i don't listen to it enough, and (2) you turned me on to Squirrel Cop, which still makes me laugh just thinking about it. And yeah, this one is another classic. "what happened to the TIVO?!"; "I got first place...". You could totally do this sort of thing. You have a talent for extracting the absurd and ridiculous from the crazy and scary parts of life.
ReplyDeleteJust in case you ever want to share the squirrel cop episode with someone it's call First Days. I've recently met someone who's never listened to This American Life... should I start him out with Squirrel Cop or Sleepwalk with Me? A T.A.L. virgin, can you imagine?
ReplyDeleteif he's a virgin he can start with anything. i find them all fascinating, even the ones that aren't funny. but speaking of funny - and i know you are a David Rakoff fan (RIP) - you've heard "what i learned from television", correct? if not, go listen...
ReplyDeletewhy sir, i'm not sure if i have... will look it up. i listen on my iPad while going to sleep. My familiar Ira lulls me off so that sometimes it takes me a week to get through a whole episode. and funny you should mention Rakoff, i was thinking about him today and about how you came to take care of me after my surgery while I had yucky drains and everything {the ornamental grass is still in a climp on my driveway} and that leads me to how much i will love you forever and ever although this is a completely inappropriate forum to discuss that, oopsie.
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