Clarity

I had an epiphany at Stop & Shop today. A true epiphany, the kind you only have a handful of times in your life, unless you’re particularly epiphany-prone, or lack them all together. In a single moment my pernicious combination of anger and fear turned into steely resolve. I have clarity. I am unfraid. I realized that I’ve been living in fear of so many things, and in doing so, if anything, have been selling myself short. My fear of things changing for the worse has prevented me from seeing that they can and should change for the better and if they don’t, so be it, but it’s time to find out, time to take a risk, time to stop trying to control what I can’t control, time to throw the dice. Time to let go of the status quo.

I took a respite from my speed shopping to go down the “beauty” isle to hold my bare nails {oh the horror} up to different bottles of color. I didn’t, ultimately buy any, but it was a purely peaceful moment, an indulgence, a flicker of time without anxiety. Yes, I was definitely due an epiphany, can’t remember the last one, it’s been a good long while.

Lovely afternoon with my boys. Trauma free homework completion, but as there’s never a dull moment I got one of those special freeze-in-time phone calls from the tall one’s baseball coach telling me he’d been hit in the head with a ball. He’s fine, it turned out not to be a pitch, but a freak fielding throw that hit him in the ear. He has a big ear now, I called him Dumbo when he came home and after eating I lent him my car to go to you-know-who’s house. He’s fine, I’m fine, we’re fine.